


Troubleshooting

by Kazura



Category: Show By Rock!! - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 00:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12158340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazura/pseuds/Kazura
Summary: What even changed between them? Nothing, really. In retrospect, it’s not without trying on Orion’s part. No, it's all Titan's fault. He's sure of it.





	Troubleshooting

They haven’t had anything resembling a proper date yet. Titan doesn’t really know how dates normally go, but based on what he’s read and heard from his colleagues at his part-time job, they definitely don’t include going somewhere with your significant other’s butler. Or your own siblings. Or even your band mates.

Sighing, Titan fondly looks on as Argon and Selen both cheer Balt and Nickel on. For the past ten minutes or so, they’ve been trying to scoop up toys at one of the games that the hot spring complex Orion brought them to has to offer. Cheers and laughter resound from their little group, and Titan couldn’t bring himself to coax them to keep it down. It’s been so long since he’s heard Balt laugh that much, after all.

Titan normally wouldn’t have even dreamed of going to such a place, let alone with his brothers, but Orion, persistent as he’s always been, refused to be deterred when he invited them. “Allow me to do something for you for once, Titan,” he said then, and Titan couldn’t say no any longer. Not when Orion looked at him with such an earnest expression as he pressed three golden tickets into Titan’s hands. As if accepting Titan and his broken confession weren’t already enough.

Pursing his lips, Titan sneaks a peek at Orion. He’s been meaning to be discreet, but he couldn’t help giving a start when he finds Orion staring right back at him.

Orion smiles. “Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks, his voice low and quiet. It sends a shiver down Titan’s spine.

Titan swallows the lump in his throat. “Yeah,” he croaks out, before clearing his throat and repeating, “Yeah, I am. Thanks for this, Orion.”

“Excellent,” Orion says, beaming. “Let me know if I can do anything more for you.”

Titan’s gaze falls and finds Orion’s hands. In one, he held a bag full of the variety of snacks and candy that Argon and Selen had insisted on buying for Balt and Nickel. They’ll probably last a week. Or two. In the other is a paper fan that Titan himself bought and pushed into his hand earlier that evening, muttering that, since he’d like to cool down after the hot springs, Orion must feel the same way, too.

Even so, it still pales in comparison to the entire experience.

“You’ve already done a lot,” Titan breathes, when he looks up again to meet Orion’s eyes. If anything, he should be the one doing something for Orion for once. Often busy as he is with songwriting, his job, and looking after his siblings, as much as he’d like to accept, he’s always had to decline Orion’s invitations. Before he knew it, a month’s already passed since they’ve become official yet nothing remotely significant aside from the usual has happened.

It’s a little frustrating. And it’s all his fault.

“Yet you look upset,” Orion says, startling him out of his thoughts. Orion’s smile is gone, replaced by a frown that hardly suits him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Titan blurts out, before clapping a hand over his mouth and glancing at Selen and the others. Thankfully, they’re still engrossed in the game. Titan’s not quite sure whom he should be worried about—Selen or his brothers. Jii, whom Orion had sent on another errand after driving them all there, already knows about their relationship, of course. Titan expected nothing less. And it’s fine, because it’s Jii and he’s nothing if not understanding and discreet. But Selen’s…Selen, and Titan’s not quite sure what he should say to his brothers just yet.

But when he looks back at Orion, he’s met with a deeper frown. He did that. He keeps doing that to someone he’s admitted he wants to be with.

What even changed between them? Nothing, really. Titan still has his secrets. Orion has his. And that should be okay, but it still doesn’t feel right. They haven’t even kissed yet and it’s been a month.

In retrospect, it’s not without trying on Orion’s part. There’s this, plus an invitation to an opera, another to an art museum, and even a planetarium. All evident attempts to spend more time together. But Titan would always be busy, or tired, yet Orion would still always nod his head in understanding and even give him tea bags or sweets or both to bring home with him to his brothers.

It’s a little ridiculous, but Titan wants to go back in time and punch himself a few times. Maybe tell himself not to confess to Orion, on impulse or not, if all he’s going to do is half-ass the entire thing afterward.

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally, because Orion deserves that much and more.

All it does is make Orion look pained even further.

The sight sends him into a panic. Although he manages to maintain a calm exterior demeanor, his heart is sent into a painful frenzy, and it takes every ounce of willpower to keep his hands from shaking. “It’s not you,” he whispers urgently. “It’s not. Please. Can…can we talk?” He glances at his brothers before looking up at Orion again.

Thankfully, he gets the message, although the crease on Orion’s brow doesn’t completely disappear. “Argon, Selen,” he calls out, approaching them and placing the bag full of snacks next to Argon’s feet. “Titan and I have matters to attend to. Meet with us in the main lobby if we haven’t returned by the time you’re done. Send me a message if you’re planning to go somewhere else.”

“Okaaay,” Selen sings, smiling a smile that says he knows everything. He probably does. Titan’s not sure why he even bothered hoping otherwise. Not when, before Titan spilled it, Selen apparently already had suspicions regarding Titan’s wealth. Or lack thereof. He just chose not to pry.

In contrast to Selen’s carefree acceptance, an opposite reaction is what Titan expected from Argon. Maybe something along the lines of calling them party poopers as he often does. Instead, Argon just grins at them, waving a hand as he says, “Sei, sei! Have fun then!”

By then, Balt and Nickel have already looked up. Titan walks up to them and stoops down to their eye level when he sees Nickel pouting. “You’re going?” his youngest brother asks.

“It’ll only be just for a moment,” he says softly as he gives his brothers what he hopes to be a reassuring smile and a gentle pat on their heads. “Be good and have fun, okay?”

Nickel beams up at him and nods.

Balt, on the other hand, isn’t even looking at him. He doesn’t need to follow his brother’s stare to know. He’s always been perceptive, and startlingly mature for someone of his age. Considering their situation at home, it’s something Titan can’t help being thankful for. But sometimes, he still can’t help being taken aback at one of Balt’s casual remarks. He just hopes that, if deities really did exist, they’d hear his prayers and not have Balt say something to Orion that will, in turn, give Titan a heart attack in the middle of a hot spring complex.

To his relief, they listened, as Balt finally looks at him and says, “Okay.”

With a final pat on their heads, Titan nods and stands up. To Argon and Selen, he asks, “Look after them?”

“Of course,” Selen says, his eyes wide. “You didn’t have to ask, silly.”

Titan smiles. “Thanks, guys.”

His own teasing smile back on, Selen waggles his fingers at him. “Take care! And try not to make a scandal, okay?”

* * *

Orion led him to the far end of the outdoor foot bath area—a big garden in the middle of which runs a long creek-like foot bath. The sun has long set, but various stars dotted the dark skies and bright lanterns of various colors hung on strings between the tall, study trees that had been planted in the area. It’s under one with a bench situated under it that Titan found himself sitting, right next to Orion. Despite the time, a few myumon still continue to soak their feet into the water. As Selen implied, unnecessary rumors would spread if someone caught sight of them, but the shade provided by the tree should be enough for a cover. Hopefully.

Taking a deep breath, Titan glances at Orion’s hands first. He doesn’t know if he’s quite ready, if he’d find that Orion’s been staring at him again.

Empty. The wooden barcode bracelet onto which Orion’s previous purchases had been registered—mostly for Titan and his brothers—still hung from around his left wrist, but Orion already tucked the handle of his fan into the back of his golden obi earlier, freeing his hands completely.

They’re alone. Titan could reach for him, if he wanted to. If he were ready to.

Before he could think further, Orion beats him to it. “May I hold your hand?” he asks quietly, turning over his right hand. “My apologies. I…can’t quite help myself any—”

Hardly keen on letting Orion’s words spiral down further, Titan slides his hand against his and interlocks their fingers together. They’ve touched each other’s hands before. A gentle brush of fingertips here. A hesitant yet reverent hold as Orion pleas there. Titan even gripped his hand firmly when they jumped off a jet with parachutes on their backs that one time. But it’s never been as intimate as this.

Heat rises to his face and he can hardly breathe. It’s too much. Even Orion’s shaking. Titan could tell.

“Thank you, Titan” Orion breathes, his voice muffled. “If you could hold on for another ten seconds, I would be eternally grateful.”

Startled at the request, Titan finally looks up and is overwhelmed with the desire of pulling away the hand that Orion had pressed against his own lips. For once, he’s not looking at Titan, but at their joined hands, struck every now and then by tremors until Orion tightens his own hold for a second or two.

Then he tries to pull away. The ten seconds are up.

“Does it really have to be just that long?” Titan whispers, squeezing Orion’s hand and refusing to let go.

Orion’s gaze darts to Titan’s face as he brings down the hand covering his lips. “Are you certain you don’t mind?” he asks.

He gives Orion’s hand another gentle squeeze. “Only if you want to,” he says, but he’d be lying if he were to say that he wouldn’t be disappointed in the slightest, if Orion really did mean to pull away.

He doesn’t. “You’ll spoil me,” Orion says, smiling that soft smile reserved only for Titan, and the warmth that has spread all over his body turns into a painful burn that seizes his heart. Ah.

There is a part of him—a horrifyingly overwhelming part of him—that just wants them both to spend the rest of the evening that way. Barefooted, dressed in elegant yet simple yukatas, and holding hands, it almost seems like they’re normal myumon in a normal relationship.

But Titan’s eyes start to sting that he has to close them to keep Orion from seeing. Because they’re not normal. Not really. They have to keep what they have a secret from the general public, and, what’s worse is that Titan’s not treating Orion as well as he should. And Orion’s just letting him, even smiling at him when Titan throws him a rare bone.

It feels more than just a bit unbalanced. He has to do _something_ , if he wants to keep holding Orion’s hand. And he does, among other things.

He tries not to make daydreaming a habit. He already has so much on his plate—his job, his songs, his brothers. But some days, when he’s more exhausted than usual and needs something to cling onto, he often thinks of kisses and marriage and making love. All with Orion. Him and him alone.

Titan wants him so much. So _much_ that he can’t help feeling scared of himself when he starts vividly imagining welcoming Orion home with a warm meal or waking up next to him and singing him a song every morning.

But he does want him, and it’s for that reason that he has to treat him right.

So he tries, forces himself to whisper, “I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

But Orion’s smile immediately disappears, and the firm yet gentle hold he has on Titan’s hand loosens.

Titan feels his stomach drop.

“You need not force yourself,” Orion presses on, likely oblivious to Titan’s growing panic even as he firmly stares at him. “I am merely being selfish.”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s not like that,” Titan says in a rush, desperate, pleading. “Listen. Orion, you’ve…you’ve been very kind to me, but I…I haven’t done nearly enough in exchange. The gifts. Your invitations. This. I keep turning you down and I…I wanted to apologize for that. I’m sorry.”

Orion completely withdraws, balling his hand into a fist along with the other over his lap. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand, Titan,” he says, his face scrunched up the same way it had on that day on the rooftop, when he mourned the distance he’d found between them.

Titan inhales sharply. Impulse urges him to run, to make up some outrageous excuse so he can laugh it off, no matter how awkwardly, just to make Orion stop looking as if Titan just punched him in the gut.

“Make no mistake,” Orion says. “I’m doing all of this out of pure selfishness on my part. I now know of your family’s situation. I understand that you have responsibilities. As such, I cannot expect you to give all of your time to me. To ask more of you would be too much. Despite that, I…I still can’t keep my desires to see you and be by your side at bay. I wish to spend more time with you despite knowing that you are not mine alone. This can hardly be called kindness, Titan. It would do us both well for you to know that.”

Ah. He’s too much.

A mix of joy and frustration overwhelms Titan that he doesn’t know whether to grab Orion’s shoulders to pull him into an embrace or to shake him by the shoulders. Titan settles for a dry laugh, because Orion really _is_ too much for him. Too much for his heart. What is he even supposed to say in return? He thinks and thinks and thinks, staring at Orion all the while, but all he comes up with is a weak, almost hysterical, “That’s normal.”

Orion peers down at him, as if trying to search his eyes for answers. “Normal?” he echoes, sounding incredulous. “I’m—”

“My boyfriend,” Titan says, and the mere sound of it sets his face ablaze. If he’d said _lover_ , Orion would’ve probably had to toss him into the foot bath to keep him from setting everything else on fire. Titan coughs into his fist. “My…boyfriend,” he repeats rather feebly, staring at his hands. Selen had his nails painted periwinkle earlier that week. The nail polish is still there. He wonders if Orion likes it.

Oh. Right. Orion.

“Yeah,” Titan forces out. “So. That’s normal. Wanting those things, I mean. You’re not the only one, and…I don’t think it’s selfish to want those things.” He’s babbling, and there’s a long pause after it that makes him cringe.

But, finally, he hears a breathless, almost unbelieving, “What are you saying, Titan? Are you implying that you—”

“Want those things, too?” Titan breathes in. It’s embarrassing to admit as much, but, “Yeah, I do. Of course, I do, Orion. That’s exactly why I want to apologize,” he presses on, frowning. “Even if I wanted to, I haven’t been trying as much as I should when it comes to…when it comes to us. I’m sorry. I’m going to try harder. I swear it.”

“I…I see. Regardless, I still see no reason for you to apologize,” Orion says so softly that Titan can almost hear the smile in his voice.

He looks up, and, ah, yeah, there it is. Titan wants to kiss him badly for it.

“As I already said,” Orion continues, derailing his thoughts, “I understand. There’s no need for you to exhaust yourself for my sake, Titan. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

For someone who makes it a habit to proclaim to anyone who’s willing to listen that he understands what Titan means to say, Orion misses the mark more often than not. He’s doing it again, yet Titan can’t help smiling fondly. “Hey, can you…?” he starts to ask, but gives up on words and just turns his hand over, letting it rest on his lap. Open. Empty. He stares at it and waits. Maybe now, Orion will get it.

“Are you certain?”

“What do you think?”

It takes much longer than Titan would have liked, but it’s Orion, and he’s slid his hand against Titan’s again. It feels nice and warm and he can’t help imagining what it would be like to be enveloped in Orion’s embrace. Titan would have to be careful not to accidentally poke him with his horn, if he were to nuzzle against him. He probably wouldn’t be able to resist getting as close to Orion as he’s allowed to. He wonders if Orion could. He hopes not. He wants Orion to want him as much as he himself wants Orion.

If he’d still have difficulties saying it like any normal myumon could, maybe he could write about it. Dedicate a song to Orion and Orion alone. That way, he’d get it. For sure, this time.

Titan smiles at the thought. Now why didn’t he think of that before? He can certainly do something like that. Maybe he can even write a piano and violin duet.

“Did you think of something amusing, Titan?”

“Something like that.” Orion raises a delicate eyebrow at him, and Titan laughs. “I...I know what you said. I get it. But I still want to try.” _For you_. He pauses, licks his lips, and says, “Can I ask you to be a little more patient with me?”

“Of course,” Orion says, before shifting the hold he has on Titan’s hand and lifting it to his lips.

It’s a little too sudden and a little too much, that the first thing that Titan does after staring at Orion long and hard is to let his idiot mouth blurt out, “There? Really?”

Orion blinks at him, lowering their hands yet not letting go. “Pardon?”

“Nothing! Nothing.” Titan laughs, and it sounds painfully awkward, even to him. He looks away, already giving himself a mental barrage of a few choice words. Yes, good, ruin everything. He could’ve held Orion’s warm, gentle, and sinfully soft hand a little longer before they needed to return to the others, but he _just_ had to ask for more.

“Did you want—”

“Only if _you_ want to,” he interrupts, tugging at his hair and making it a point to _not_ look at Orion. He’s more than convinced he’d make a run for it if he did.

Still, even if it’s soft, quiet, and could have likely just been the rustling of the leaves above them, he at least knows he hears Orion say, “Do you?”

“Do _you_?” Titan shoots back, heart thudding while he maintains what’s left of his cool facade. He should say something. Something else. They can’t exactly continue this like grade-schoolers.

Orion probably thinks the same. Maybe even thinks they’re both being silly, because he goes quiet, and his silence is more than just suffocating. A yes or a no. That’s all Titan needs. He could’ve have given Orion one, too, but Titan is stubborn, stubborn, stubborn, that he keeps on tripping where it really matters.

He would have shouted yes. He should have.

But Orion stays that way for what feels like ages that Titan finally sneaks a peek and tries squeezing Orion’s hand. A silent plea.

And Orion complies. “I do,” he whispers, brow furrowed as he looks straight into Titan’s eyes again, sending a jolt down his spine and leaving his heart protesting at the grip Orion held it in.

 _Oh_.

“Do you?” Orion asks again, gently rubbing circles on the back of Titan’s hand.

His hand moves before his mouth could. He reaches for Orion’s far shoulder, grasping for the material of his yukata and pulling him closer. He tells himself to breathe, _breathe_ , because he’s doing this, and he does, closing his eyes and leaning up to press his lips against Orion’s.

It’s warm, and soft. Even as Orion presses back against him, their kiss stays gentle, and it leaves Titan wanting. He inches closer, his knee bumping against Orion’s as he takes in more of his cautious and hesitant touch.

He’s shivering, Titan realizes, and it’s curious, because he’s warm, so warm. In an attempt to chase away what cold Orion still seems to be feeling, Titan squeezes the hand that still holds his reassuringly before running the other along Orion’s shoulders towards his bare neck.

It’s then that Orion gasps against his lips, and, without warning, the pressure is gone.

The hand on Orion’s neck falls, and Titan’s eyes fly open. In a panic, he sputters, “Sorry! I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

With his free hand covering his mouth, Orion stares back at him. It’s a small relief that he still hasn’t let go of Titan’s other hand, but confusion only riddles him as Orion does nothing else but quickly blink at him. With the shade of the tree shielding them from most of the light provided by the stars and the lanterns, Titan can’t see past what Orion’s willing to show him.

He can tell Orion’s still shivering, at least. And that, despite covering his mouth, he’s breathing hard, shoulders heaving up and down.

“Orion?” he tries again. “I’m sorry. You didn’t have to force yourself.”

“No!” Orion blurts out, bringing down his hand and letting it curl against his chin as he leans forward. “I wasn’t forcing myself. How could you possibly think that, Titan?”

 _You pulled away_ , Titan doesn’t say, choosing to stare at their linked hands instead.

“My apologies,” Orion says, and Titan catches him pursing his lips. “I simply…I didn’t expect it to be that pleasant. If it would reassure you, I will say that I…I would not be opposed to doing it again.”

Titan very nearly screams. He settles for widening his eyes at Orion instead, but he can’t quite stop the thoughts from flooding him.

Who says that? Who even _says_ that? Orion, evidently. Orion. His Orion.

Are Orion’s cheeks flushed right now? Does he wear red on his cheeks well? Titan wants to know. Rather, he wants to _see_. He wants to look at him. Really, _really_ look at him. Not under the shade of a tree, but under a bright sky, as shameless as it sounds.

But he knows why they can’t. Not in a place such as the one they are in now. But maybe, maybe someday, they could go on a picnic. Just the two of them. Because as much as he cares for his brothers and their band mates and his boyfriend’s ever present butler, he can’t help wanting to have Orion all to himself, even for just a day.

And he will. He _will_ one day.

Because, as Titan rests a hand behind Orion’s neck, guiding him forward while Orion babbles about not having to do it _now_ since they do need to get back to the others at some point, he decides that Orion’s worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit (2017/09/25): The lovely Marise drew some art inspired by this fic. If you'd like, you can check it out [here](https://twitter.com/meowrise/status/911618368196800512)!
> 
> Inspired by [this](https://artwaltzed.tumblr.com/post/158935226824).
> 
> If you like what I write, feel free to yell about these dorks with me [here](https://twitter.com/songsofthestars). For more ways to find me, [here's my Carrd](https://artwaltzed.carrd.co/).


End file.
